There was a time when our family’s were more together and when a young man wanted to court one of our daughters he would have to come to the father and ask permission to call, on the 3rd visit the girl would be late and the young man would be sitting in the front room with the father.

The father with the girls interest at heart has one question for that young man, young man what is your intension towards my daughter ?
If the father didn’t get the right answer he wanted you went out of the door and the daughter continued to be late. You had less teenager pregnancy then because the head figure in the home exercised his right and responsibility thinning down the traffic to make sure you did not pick up someone who wanted an overnight thrill who’s intension didn’t extend beyond that. And you did not understand that the romantic marriage as you know it is a western invention.
When you have the I respect you marriage, as against the I love you marriage two family’s came together two sets of cattle came together, sheeps and goats came together it was a elaborate affair not just between two people it was a coming together of a dynasty of family it solved wars it bought villagers together and both sides had a support system and if anything happened the support system came from both sides. All those uncles all those cousins, divorce was not part of your vocabulary and no one heard of wife beatings can you imagine now if you lift your hand can you take on 50 cousins better take down your hand think this matter over.

The words of Dr john henry Clarke

Africa is made up many nations and tribes with wedding traditions rooted deeply into the culture. An old African proverb says, ” A man without a wife is like a vase without flowers.” A FEW EXAMPLES

Broom tradition
Going back to the days of slavery when Africans were forbidden from marrying by the slave master. They created this ritual to represent the beginning of their new life together. In modern ceremonies, couples jump over a broom, often decorated with ribbon and tulle, after they’re pronounced married.

Dowry tradition
Cows, gold, iron, money, land, fabric: all these have been handed over by a groom in exchange for a bride. Called a dowry, it has manifested itself in various forms across the world. .. Across the African continent, the tradition of the dowry remains a key pillar of unifying a man and woman in matrimony.
The Purpose of a Dowry= In ancient times, a dowry was given to the groom and his family in exchange for the bride as a way of ensuring that she is properly taken care of and comfortable.


1) Dr umar johnson discusses Black economic priorities and marriage.

2) Is marriage for white people

In the Bemba culture of Zambia, marriage starts with a class called Bana Chimbusa, a secret counselling session for the bride. The class is followed by Chilanga Mulilo, where the bride’s family takes different family dishes and presents them to the groom’s family, giving a symbolic preview of what the groom will be eating when married. Nights before the wedding are filled with a lot of dance parties, a good warmup for the ceremony, or the Ama Shikulo, an official merging of the two families where people go up and give advice and best wishes to the couple.

The Swahili wedding involves a separation between the men and the women. While the bride attends the Henna party the night before the wedding, the men do the Kirumbizi, a fighting dance usually performed to the music of drums and a flute. This is followed by the Nikah, the vows ceremony, after which the groom gets invited to a luncheon called the Walima. The wedding climaxes as the groom picks up his wife in a dance and music-filled procession as they head to their new home.

The Zulu traditional wedding ceremony , or Umabo, usually takes place after a white wedding. This follows the dowry ceremony, lobola, the bringing of gifts for the bride’s mother and close family, or Izibizo and Umbondo, where the bride brings different household groceries for her soon-to-be family. On the big day, a Zulu bride will change her outfit at least three different times to convey to her in-laws her beauty in different styles and colours.

Among the Nuer people of Southern Sudan, the groom is required to pay 20-40 cows. After various celebrations and ceremonies, the wedding is still regarded as not complete up until the wife has birthed two children. If the wife only bears one child and the husband asks for a divorce, he is given a choice between his cows or custody of the child.

Among the Amhara people of Ethiopia, most marriages are negotiated by the two families with a civil ceremony sealing the contract. On the wedding day, Invited guests arrive at the venue; mostly a decorated auditorium or hall. Traditional food and drinks will then be served. The usual attire for the big day is the traditional Habesha Cloth. At the end of the wedding ceremony, the groom will take his bride to his place and the party will continue at his house.

Marriage in the Maasai Tribe consists of a tedious process of courtship. The admirer is required to show his appreciation to his wife through the giving of a gift, usually a chain, which is followed by him giving out strong drinks to his newly-added family members, his in-laws. Once the parents approve, the groom is then required to give at least three cows and two sheep; one sheep is slaughtered and its fat is used to decorate the bride’s gown.